I expect most of my readers don't need the whole back-story here; Time Warner Cable is a healthy dose of pure evil, and in most places it isn't held in check by a lovely little thing called competition. This potent cocktail typically ferments into a nice frothy cup of "Eff You" for the consumer, which today's guest author, previously known as the Fast Food Warrior, finally got enough of.
FFW originally sent Time Warner a letter to the effect of "you have utterly disregarded your commitment to the customer, leaving me out of service for a week, give me a refund or I walk."
"Sure coach, I can be at the game! I'll be there sometime between noon and 4 PM. Oh, the game is at 8? Yeaaahh...no, that won't work."
TWC responded with the following letter:
The Response/Offense
"In response to your email, I do apologize for the delayed response and the issues with your account. I did review your account today and did see that you were assisted with your account. Again I do apologize for the inconvenience this has caused. We sincerely appreciate your business and thank you for choosing us as your cable provider. If you have any other questions please let me know. Thank you for the customer service inquiry.
Margaret *******
Customer Relations Department
Time Warner Cable - Central Texas Division"
They really expect this to work. Do you people let this shit fly? FFW didn't. Below is the last letter he'll ever write to Time Warner.
The Letter
Ms. *******,
I think you are misreading the situation. I do not feel appreciated and I am no longer choosing Time Warner Cable as my cable or internet provider. TWC no longer holds a monopoly on non-satellite cable TV service in my neighborhood and your new competition has made a generous offer for my business. Once AT&T has installed their service, it is my intent to cancel service with TWC as a result of this incident and the failure of TWC personnel to follow up in a timely manner.
The original non-automated response to the email you are quoting below, written by a Ms. Vivian ******, stated that the case was being escalated and that I could expect a response within 48 hours. This was dated October 5, 2010. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out that two weeks a quite a bit longer than 48 hours. A professor of mine once said that rocket science "isn't very hard either." We're dealing with a simple math here: an inequality between TWC's professed standards (S) and TWC's actual performance (P). In my recent experience in dealing with your company via chat, email, phone and in person, S >> P.
TWC's latest telecom satellite launched into orbit.
In case you are more the literary type, let me phrase it another way. If there was ever a bridge between us, I feel as if one TWC employee after another has set it alight with flames of indifference and spilled crude oil into the stream below so that its waters can not stop the bridge from burning.
I do have some good news though. TWC has earned a spot in my mind alongside such fine corporations as:
Wendy's
McDonald's
Dell Computers
and
New Belgium Brewery
A follow-up:
ReplyDeleteUpon heading over to the Time Warner "Service Center" to return my equipment after canceling service (yes, I am a man of my word), I was elated to learn that all I had to do was stuff my receiver, cable modem and remote into a bubble wrap bag and toss it into a postal-style dropbox. It took all of 15 seconds and I was on my way to doing something useful with my day. This might be the most efficient part of TWC's operation; it was certainly my most satisfying experience with the company.