Just like with Wendy's, you don't need me to tell you about McDonald's. Instead, I'll use this space to introduce Eric, a guest contributor. He's written a few letters to fast-food joints that mesh well with the nature of this site, so let's throw them out here! I'll go one restaurant at a time for narrative's sake.
The Letter
McDonald's:
Due to unusual circumstances, I found myself having not had dinner last night and it was approaching 11 PM. Save for a brief stop to take a shower, I had been out of the house since 8 AM. I was in no mood to cook and at such an hour, dining options are limited. As it is the nearest late night food service facility to my home, I went to your restaurant and ordered a crispy chicken combo meal with *NO MAYO*.
I returned home ready to devour this culinary masterpiece and satiate my growling stomach. Upon opening the box containing the sandwich, my heart sank and I was utterly furious to find that there was not just some mayo, but a huge, artery-clogging wad of mayo all over my sandwich.
I google image searched the previous sentence, but the combination "huge," "wad," and "all over my," did not produce exactly what I was looking for..."
Why do your employees do this? Why is it your policy to, by default, smother your otherwise somewhat edible sandwiches with mayo? Not everyone likes mayo. I am one of those people. I hate mayo. I want the chicken, the lettuce and the tomatoes to shine. But you buried them in the one thing I hate to eat.
When I called the restaurant to complain (since your 800 number was on robo-answer with no recourse), it took two calls and over 20 rings for an employee to answer. When they did and I recounted my unsatisfactory experience, she hung up on me. The indignation!
"At McDonald's, we pride ourselves on using only the latest in robotic customer service technology."
While your restaurant is never my first choice, I have always thought that I can count on reliably mediocre food in a time of need. But now I feel shunned and unappreciated.
McD's is supposed to be a happy place. But I am sad.
Footnote from the Author:
McDonald's customer feedback has a 1500 character limit. I used every last one. Too bad they won't let me attach photographic evidence of the crime. It shouldn't also be noted that the feedback form asks for "date/time of incident," as if they are expecting negative feedback, instead of praise.
The Response
"Hello Eric:
I want to thank you for taking the time to share your recent experience at the McDonald's in Austin, TX with me. Your feedback is very important to us as it allows us to better understand how we can improve our service to you.
I am sorry for the unprofessional service and inaccurate order you received. Please be assured that we want to provide you with an exceptional experience every time you visit us. From your email, it is clear we did not meet your expectations. Again, I am truly sorry we disappointed you.
I want you to know that I have already taken action on your feedback. After reading your email, I immediately shared the information you brought to our attention with the local franchise owner of the restaurant you visited. Additionally, I notified our regional McDonald's consultant who works with this owner for follow-up in the restaurant and appropriate corrective action.
Again, Eric, thank you for sharing your feedback. We appreciate your business and we hope to have the pleasure of serving you soon.
Thomas
McDonald's Customer Response Center"
Sir:
I don't believe it is unreasonably demanding if I request the satisfaction of a refund on this meal. With your current response to the situation I find little incentive to return to your establishments at a future time. In the event that I require fast food, my current inclination would be to have it my way, or simply eat mor chik-in. Fear not, for Dave Thomas' legacy has already been tarnished by far more grievous offenses and I shall not be turning to Wendy's for comfort.
As your internet letter writing technology did not allow me to do so, I have enclosed a photograph of the sandwich in question, so that you may view the nature of the offense.
"At McDonald's, we strive to serve only the healthiest food items."
The Follow-Up Response
None. In this case, I think it's understandable. I mean, could you assemble coherent thoughts after seeing that mayo apocalypse?
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