This one is tough for me, because in the past I have really enjoyed my Dell products. Sure, their customer support is awful, because you have to spend hours on the phone getting transferred back and forth from one province of India to another, but typically their stuff is good enough that you don't have to mess with it. My new laptop, as you will see below, is not such an example, so I had to unload.
The Letter
Dear Dell,
I want you to know that I am in no way happy with any part of your products or services. Within a day of receiving my new laptop, I realized that bringing the machine back from its self-imposed sleep state required playing a game of "Guess Whether This Computer Will Respond Before You Hard Reset It." Usually I lost, and still do.
Like this, but with my computer.
I called to exchange the machine for a functioning version, and was told that tech support would have to certify my computer was broken to avoid paying a restocking fee. After spending over an hour on the phone with at least seven of the jobs you have un-patriotically shipped to India, I was told that such undesirable behavior was actually my virus protection software strangling the computer's processing power to ensure my electronic safety before I started to type my grocery list. This was just barely characteristic enough of a Windows machine to believe, so I decided to hold off on my attempts to get a replacement computer.
We guarantee you won't get a virus. You might not get an email either.
That is until this morning. I woke up smiling at the sunshine and looking forward to the promises of the day ahead. Before I could even finish my coffee, though, some fast-talking Indian from your company phoned me and began babbling in some semi-comprehensible hybrid of English and Hindi.
Unlike this hybrid, which is completely incomprehensible.
The call was, as I understood it, to "check on the status of my new computer," and I again tried to convey my dissatisfaction with my purchase. After several minutes of trying to follow his mile-a-minute Englo-babble about my service options, I realize he is signing me up for a $15 per month extended warranty plan! I frantically yelled "no!" "stop!" and "cancel!" into the phone, and I can only pray that I won't see a bill from you in 30 days.
I must ask, Dell, why you think I would want such a service plan? I have already repeatedly told you how unhappy I am with my laptop's performance, and you have essentially told me to suck it up and deal. Why, though, do you think I would pay to ensure the continuation of such substandard operation? Please do not contact me again until you are prepared to replace my laptop at no charge to me.
The Response
"Dear Valued Customer,
Thank you for contacting Dell Customer Care on 06/24/2010 regarding Case number: XXXXXXXXX for Dell order number: XXXXXXXXX. At Dell we are committed to delivering the best Customer Experience to our customers. Valuable feedback regarding your experience with Dell Customer Care will help us improve our internal processes and provide better service to you.
Dell has asked TNS, a customer satisfaction research company in the IT industry, to help conduct a survey regarding your experience. To help ensure we are providing the best possible experience, we ask that you provide us with your feedback in this brief survey. It should take no more than 10 minutes to complete."
Yeah, thanks for the help, Dell. Nothing solves my computer woes like an online survey full of questions like "please confirm your answer to the previous question." Screw you and your 75 dollar upcharge for a pink laptop.
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