You may have read my first letter to Governor Phil Bredesen of Tennessee. Well, ol' Governor Phil never got back to me about the grievous offense I took with his backwoods state, so I had to hit him up again. Hard.
The Letter
Dear Governor Bredesen,
I wrote to you a couple of months ago about my discovery that your state had decided to name a prominently-featured state park after Nathan Bedford Forrest, the first Grand Wizard of the Ku Klux Klan. As one of your secretaries may remember, my letter took a rather satirical tone, praising you as a champion of racists and segregationists everywhere, with the intent that you would realize the message such a name for the park conveys and take corrective action.
What amazes me (even though it probably shouldn't) is that you seem to have taken me seriously, showing your acceptance of my compliments by not responding to refute them. I realize another possibility is that as Governor, you may have other, more important letters to write, but you and Mark Williams do realize that Abraham Lincoln is dead, don't you?
I had really hoped to get the ball rolling towards a re-naming of the Forrest State Park, but perhaps I'm not considering the whole picture. I am certainly aware of the "heritage not hate" argument, but why not replace Forrest, who is an icon for Klansmen and Neo-Nazis everywhere, with another Confederate hero who merely fought and died to preserve the institution of slavery as part of a larger list of quarrels with the Northern states? That approach works well enough for every single other highway, park, rest stop, and public library in Tennessee.
The Stonewall Jackson Memorial...oh, wait, this is actually the ballroom of the Governor's Mansion. Nevermind.
I suppose the answer is that you really are satisfied with the sentiment expressed in Forrest's name. You really mean for your state attraction to say "we hates all you nigras," and not "while I respect you as three-fifths of a fellow human being, I just think society would be better off if we used separate water fountains." That is certainly your prerogative, and hey, honesty and transparency are certainly welcome qualities in today's political environment.
In Tennessee, even the Klan believes in transparency!
Thank you for again taking the time to read my correspondence. I look forward to your Presidential campaign whenever the 15th Amendment is repealed!
The Response
Again, nothing. He must be too concerned with the anti-slavery candidate running for his job to respond!
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