Target/Kitty City

Nature of the Offense

Today's entry documents a spectacular double-whammy of a piss-poor shopping experience combined with a substandard, badly-advertised product. The offenders are Target supermarkets, one of the real giants, and Kitty City, a manufacturer of (as we'll soon see) crummy cat toys and accessories. The prologue is included in the letter, so let's get to it!

The Letter

Dear Target and Kitty City, USA:

I am writing the both of you because I consider the consumer experience I have just completed a joint failure on your parts. First, some backstory: I am adopting a new kitten. To put a face on the matter, I have included a picture of the kitten in question for you.





This kitten has had a rough life so far. She has lost her mother, presumably in a horrific accident, and was discovered alone, filthy, and malnourished. Thanks to the devoted efforts of a rescue agency and a foster family, she is now healthy and happy, and about to join her "forever home." To make the transition a comfortable one, my wife and I headed to Target to pick up some kitten supplies.

Here is where the trouble starts. While Target stores seem to have plenty of lovely accessories for dogs, they seem to hold cats in the same regard as they do gay people. All the kitten beds were shoved into one shelf all the way at the bottom of the aisle, with boxes all looking like they had just been caught "talking shit" to somebody on Jersey Shore. As evidence, I have included a picture of the box to my Kitty City hideaway:





In case it's not abundantly clear from the picture, that's the top flap of the box, hastily re-sealed with packing tape. And every box on the shelf looked the same way. So now I get to bring my baby kitten home and put her in a bed that, for all I know, has been used and returned by someone whose cats have mange. Thanks a lot, Target. Nothing beats paying the "new" price for used merchandise.

Now, on to the product itself. Kitty City, as I'm sure you are aware, you use the following picture on the box of your Hideaway play center:





Notice how the blue ball toy hangs more than halfway down the cube. However, when I unpack my Hideaway, here's what I find:





Are you aware that the oscillation period of a pendulum is directly proportional to its length? At three inches long, when my kitten paws at this "toy"--assuming she can even reach it, that is--there's every chance it will swing back and smack her in the face before she can even react. While I'm sure your wives all assure you that three inches is perfectly adequate, my eight-week-old kitten doesn't need a speed bag. Please change your product packaging to accurately reflect its contents.



Pictured: not my kitten.


In short, I'm doing my best to give a delicate, adorable baby animal the safe, nurturing environment she deserves. Kitty City, on the other hand, sees fit to sell me misrepresented accessories that are as likely to injure her as entertain her, and Target has no problem with charging me full MSRP for them when they've been (potentially harmfully) tampered with.

Look at that kitten again. Is this really the best she should hope for? If not, you should consider a complete overhaul of the "pet care" divisions of your respective businesses.

The Response

The first thing I got was this load of crap from Kitty City:

"Thank you for contacting SportPet Designs, Inc.

The following information will be required to process your request.

1. Reason for your inquiry:

2. Product Name:

3. Date of Purchase:

4. Location of Purchase:

5. Product Number (located on the instruction sheet in upper right hand corner XX-0000):

6. Letter or ID number (00000) of the part(s) and quantity of each:

7. Full Name:

8. Mailing Address:

9. Phone Number:

10. E-mail address:

This is an auto response.

Information provided to SportPet Designs, Inc. is confidential. It is not shared or sold to any other parties. "

Translation: "Thanks for contacting us! We couldn't be bothered to read your actual correspondence, so if you'll please fill out this form, we'll be better able to fit a form letter to your needs."

The next morning, though, I got another, more personal letter from Sport Pet:

"Hello Paul,

Thank you for your email. I'm sorry that you had such a negative experience when purchasing this item. I can tell you that since the photo was taken for the box of the item, we had a case in which a cat become entangled and injured with the longer string toy. Because we take the safety of people's pets very seriously, we promptly adjusted the design to make sure that it would not happen again. The photo has not been updated yet to reflect the new design.

Thank you,
Kristen ***** ******

Customer Service
Sport Pet Designs"

...Wow. This is the first time in the history of the Angry Customer Letters that I've gotten anything resembling a thoughtful response. While I hate getting a product that was not as advertised, at least I get it.

Of course, right when I thought things might be turning around for The Angry Customer, Target drops the following turd in my inbox:

"Dear Paul,

I'm sorry your recent trip to our Austin, Texas Target store didn't meet your expectations.

We're always looking for ways to improve your shopping experience. Hearing about your purchase for your new kitten is important to us. I've documented your thoughts and comments, which will be shared with our Store Operations team for further review. It's just one way we can keep working to provide you with the experience you've come to expect at Target.

If you ever have concerns during your visit, please visit the Guest Service Desk and ask to speak with the Guest Service Team Leader. They'll make every attempt to resolve the issue during your visit.

We appreciate your feedback because it helps make Target even better.

Sincerely,

Beth
Target Guest Relations"

I love that "Target cares" about my kitten. Everything else, though, is the trite pabulum I've come to expect from America's megamarts. Is there some company that all these retailers subcontract their customer feedback to?



Company, no. Country? Maybe.



The Verdict


Severity of the Offense:
7/10 (Target)
6/10 (Kitty City)

While the miniscule string length on the ball toy didn't much affect the overall quality of the product, false advertising is a cardinal sin in the eyes of The Angry Customer. Target, on the other hand, is lucky to skate by with a seven. First off, they do business with a crummy company. Then, they go over the top by selling repackaged items as new? Would you do that with a big-screen TV? No? Then don't do it with my cat house.

Corporate Care Level:
2/10 (Target)
9/10 (Kitty City)

Target's letter mentions my kitten as a way of saying "See, we really did read your letter before we fired off this mindless response!" Kitty City would have hit the 10 here if they hadn't led off with the auto-reply.

Adequacy of Response:
0/10 (Target)
8/10 (Kitty City)

While it's nice that Target replied at all (seems to be a rarity these days), I thought they would at least offer to take the item back if it wasn't in satisfactory condition. Kitty City, on the other hand, basically gets a pass here. I understand that in today's society everyone thinks they're Erin Brockovitch, and you have to CYA, but a picture change would be appreciated.

Also, everyone loses an additional point because both responses were from female employees after I made a fantastic dick joke.

Overall:
3/10 (Target)
9/10 (Kitty City)

It should be pretty obvious at this point what the take-away is here. The little company cares, the big one doesn't. Shocker.